Italian turist in Malta

(A hotel in Malta)

Pasquale: may I have two pieces of toast, please?


Waitress with only one piece of toast:




waitress: here you are!


Pasquale: I want two pieces


Waitress: go to the toilet then!


Pasquale: you don’t understand, I want two pieces on my plate!


Waitress: you’d better go to the toilet, stupid!


Pasquale: this lady doesn’t even know me and calls me  “stupid”


(A bigger restaurant)


Waiter bringing a spoon and a knife but no fork:


waiter:  good evening, sir


Pasquale: good evening


Waiter: have you decided, sir?


Pasquale: I want a fork


Waiter: everyone wants to do that


Pasquale: you don’t understand me. I want a fork on the table


Waiter: you’d better not to do it on the table, you big stupid.


Pasquale: why they all call me stupid?


( in the hotel room the bed has no sheets)


Pasquale: hello? There are no sheets on my bed. Can I speak to the manager, please?


Manager: hello? What’s the matter?


Pasquale: I want a sheet


Manager: go to the toilet!


Pasquale: you don’t understand. I want a sheet on my bed!


Manager: you’d better not to shit on your bed, you big stupid


Pasquale: I’m fed up, I will go back home


(Check out)


Receptionist: peace on you, sir


Pasquale: piss on you too, you big stupid. I want to go back to Italy